Tick, Tick, Boom

My lack of dancing skills ruined my sandwich for lunch today. I'm telling you, if I had just mastered the Running Man during my youth, my meal would be intact. Let's backtrack . . .

Last winter I found myself housesitting in the very south end of Anchorage, eagerly taking advantage of the various movie channels offered by GCI Cable. Unfortunately, it was about 1AM, and the only non-porn-ish option seemed to be the teen dancing "drama" Step Up. At one point, a character says to a young protege, "Well, you know how to do the Running Man, right?" The young boy nodded as if thinking, What a stupid question, while I mournfully shook my head, No. Spurred into action (at least a decade too late), I perused the Web for an instructional video, found one, and soon found myself testing out 90's (80's?) dance moves in front of a very tired and puzzled dog. Come morning, however, I retired my MC Hammer-like ambitions.

Until today. I was making a peanut butter sandwich after an exhausting morning of racquetball (15-year-old athletes can kick my butt, I'm telling you) and found myself with crystallized honey. I stuck the little plastic bear in the microwave, despite its cute little pleading face, and pressed "10" for ten seconds. Well, I forgot that when you press "1" that it automatically express cooks it for 1 minute. My iPod was blasting Tick, Tick, Boom by The Hives, so after only a moment or two, the random thought occurred to me, I wonder if I can still do the Running Man?

I discovered two things. One--the answer to my question (not very well), and two--don't microwave little innocent bears for a full minute. They melt.